Assuming you are both safe to be around your kids, you will need to make shared custody arrangements with maturity and a focus of what is now best for your child’s development and growth. Following a divorce, it’s best for your children if they’re allowed to have unrestricted access to you and your spouse unless there are safety concerns. Children benefit from the input both parents have to offer, especially if the parents have tapped into a support system that includes counseling. God is able to use what is broken for His own good and glory.
Many kids have developed resiliency in the face of their families falling apart. One common thread in all of these cases was that the parents worked together to make the experience less stressful for their children. The parents focused on what was best for the children instead of what was best for them personally. Divorce can easily make you focus on your own experience without awareness of what’s happening to your kids.
Divorce makes it more difficult for children to handle conflict. Your kids will benefit from your modeling and guidance on how to effectively, wisely, and cooperatively handle conflict. Children will adapt best when both parents develop a nonadversarial coparenting relationship, but of course you only have half-control of this.